We all have different personality traits, maybe we’re stubborn, cheeky or easy going; well archetypes are similar but like deeper encompassing underlying character, that we have chosen to experience in this life; whether that’s because of our past lives or due to lessons we need to learn. We adopt these habits because at some point they helped us or it was the only option that was felt available at that time and we’re still getting something out of it. However, these patterns may not help or serve us anymore and becoming aware of them, allows us to choose if it is the best behavior in a certain situation rather than acting from sub-conscious habit.

It’s always much easy for us to look at others and judge, maybe they’re playing the victim again, but what about ourselves. What or who are we playing? These may not be so obvious at first, but if you work on becoming more honest and aware of yourself, you’ll realize there are certain habits you allure to. Here are some of the archetypes we may have adopted;

Victim – always feeling victimized and attracting people to do this, so they can seek attention and love. Underlying need to learn to embody personal power and realizing they are creating their reality.

Child – acts out emotionally when not taken seriously but are not responsible, as they want someone to take care of them. Underlying need of self-responsibility and feeling of protection.

Saboteur – they think they have nothing to offer so constantly self-sabotages. Underlying need of self-esteem.

Martyrdom – sacrificing yourself for one or many. Underlying need to learn personal needs, values and boundaries.

Watch how you act to see if you can recognize if you are running any patterns of behavior and the underlying reason why, and ask yourself if its honestly making you happy?
There’s no right or wrong, it’s just all an experience, so don’t judge yourself.

I realized a recurring thing for me was I’m always there when someone needs to let of steam. I was the good friend that listened and tried to always be there. I always want to help, but most of the time afterwards I feel totally drained. Also most of the time it’s the same friends who were off-loading constantly with the same story/complaints being repeated without any steps to change the situation or their perspective. I also end up putting other people first, which I thought was a good thing, but it really wasn’t helping me. I hated feeling totally depleted afterwards and I’m no good to anyone when I’m like that.

At work, I noticed when I’m given extra work, even though I get annoyed about it, I will still take it on. The narrative in my head is, ok sod it, I’ll do it even if I have to stay late, then you can see how snowed under I am and feel bad about it. But they never do feel bad and I just end up with more work and moaning to my friends about it. Ironic, stuck in the opposite side of the above, by playing the victim afterwards! We are definitely mirrors for one and other to learn from. If there’s something in your life you don’t like, then look for it in you. Give that up in you and you will stop attracting it in.

I realized I was playing a lot of martyr and it really wasn’t making me happy – it wasn’t really serving me. Now that I had become aware of this, I had an option open to me, I could make a conscious choice to give it up. It was slow at first, I had to catch myself each time, sometimes only realizing afterwards when it was too late, but each time helped me stop myself earlier before I unconsciously acted out, and then I could consciously choose what I really wanted each time.
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Giving up Martyrdom has helped me:

Gained More Energy, Joy, and Time – for myself and to support others who genuinely wanted help. I decided I would re-direct the conversation people who thrived on complaining and change the mood. If that didn’t work, reduce time with them.
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Create Boundaries – people will naturally go elsewhere to off-load once they realized it wasn’t acceptable anymore. People can also unconsciously feel other people’s energies, once you have boundaries they will naturally not be attracted to approaching you to complain, so you will attract these people less. I also realized I was only enabling them to stay in these cycle by providing them with an ear.
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Gain Better Relationships – Once the complaints dropped there was space for other more enjoyable discussion and past times. Not putting others first also meant giving the chance for others to better understand my needs. There was also space for other people to come in, a better match, once less time was spent with those contented to not grow.
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Obtain Support – when I started to voice out about my workload, I started to receive more support. I realized it was just my projection that my boss didn’t care. Once I dropped that, it gave him the space and understanding to provide me with more assistance. Saying no to people when worn out, also allowed them to see I could do with help in some areas, giving them the opportunity to facilitate the circle of giving and receiving.

Giving Up Victimhood –  not putting myself in the above positions, meant also I no longer played the victim afterwards (you see we do it to ourselves), and complaining how tired I am, or feeling like a mat when support wasn’t reciprocated, my workload or the unfairness of it all etc.

Gain Responsibility – rather than thinking things just happened to me, I could see how I was getting certain results due to my actions. Consciously changing those actions allowed me to get a preferred result instead of just blaming others. Being able to see this, allows me to take more responsibility of the reality I was creating for myself.

Self-value – I realized deep down I received a lot of self-value by acting the way I did before. It made me feel important that I had such a workload or could help someone and this was the main unconscious drive to this continued behavior. I realized/accepted that I am Valuable, just being ME (and so are You) and there was no need to obtain this from external reasons.

Brought More Conscious Choice into my Life and Awareness
It didn’t mean I couldn’t act this way at all, it meant I could do it from choice, in full knowledge and acceptance of the consequences. Do I really want to listen and comfort this person or are they just in their own cycle, knowing it might be draining and decide when to stop or not even start. Choose if I really wanted to do that piece of work due to other reasons, or am I just playing the martyr and will hate it.
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Try writing down 10 goals you’ll like to achieve.
Now look at your past and watch yourself during each day, and honestly ask yourself:

• • What are you playing out a lot (there maybe a few archetypes not just one, but concentrate on the more dominate one first)?
• • What kind of pattern plays out in your life due to this characteristic?
• • Does it make you happy?
• • What do you get out of it? Is it attention, avoidance of responsibility, value and self-respect etc.?    –    You may have to meditate on this. Ask the question and then clear your head, allow your brainwaves to drop to your sub-conscious level and allow the answer to come up rather than trying to figure it out, as deep down you know.
• • Does it help you achieve the main goals in your life? Does it truly serve you?
• • What if you gave up that role and in each instance choose how to act with the best intentions towards your goals, what do your think would be open to you?

Try Letting Go of Your Default Role and compare how it would normally turn out to how different it turned out by just you deciding to act differently.

This will help your become more aware how your actions shape the reality around you. As you learn this you can start shaping the reality in a way really that works for you, rather than blaming the situation.

Your own perceptions/definition of yourself are your only chains.

Remember You are the Magic before the Choice, you can choice something different …

You are the Magic!

Further Reading:

I Am the Magic
Feel to Heal & Subconscious Manifestations
The Manifestor in You
Manifesting with the Sri Yantra